Sailing Directions · Chapter 3
Ranch Spring
A crudité platter designed around one fixed point: a single bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch.
| Position | Inland, freshwater of a sort |
|---|---|
| Made for | His own parties, then his friends’ |
| Quantity | 12 made, 1 kept |
| Material | Stoneware, food-safe liner glaze |
| Well capacity | 480 ml. One 16 oz bottle, plus 7 ml |
| Status | Constitutional |
Description
A crudité platter for parties. Most platters treat the dip as an afterthought, a ramekin wedged between the celery. This one starts from the dip and builds outwards: a sunken well in the centre sized for exactly one 16 oz bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch, poured in one go.
Works undertaken
Thomas measured the pour first. A full bottle is 473 ml, and it does not all come out at once, so the well holds 480 to leave a little room for the last reluctant bit. Around the well, low radial ridges keep carrots from lying on top of cucumbers. The rim is raised a few millimetres so the ranch meets the cherry tomatoes only when someone invites it to. The well is glazed in a glossy white that wipes clean in one pass.
He made twelve. Eleven went to friends who asked more than once.
Changes since last survey
The island got a constitution with one article in it. People now bring their own bottle of ranch when they visit, which Thomas considers the correct outcome. The spring has not run dry.
CAUTIONOther dressings have been poured into this vessel. The harbour master does not recognise them.